A third major contributing factor to the breakdown of the home in our culture is the growing tendency for men to not live up to their responsibilities related to being the head of the home. However politically incorrect it might be today, God instructs men to be the head of the home. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” (Eph. 5:22-24). That does not mean that wives are inferior to men. Rather, God has simply given men and women different roles in the home.
Our government, over the past fifty years, has set in place some praiseworthy social programs to help people who find themselves temporarily unable to take care of themselves. The key word in that statement is “temporarily.” The original intentions of most of these programs were honorable. However, guidelines for the implementation of some of them have led to unintended consequences, one of which is the weakening of the basic structure of the home.
As noted in a previous article, the out of wedlock birth rate in our nation is now 40%. While a number of government social programs were designed to help single mothers take care of their children, a strong case can be made that they have actually contributed to the increase of out of wedlock births and single parent homes. Guidelines for receiving aid through some of these programs require that the mother be single. If the mother and father of the children marry, which morally and culturally should be the goal, they no longer qualify for the aid. Thus, mom and dad don’t get married; in many cases dad lives outside of the home much of the time, and the children grow up without experiencing a complete, fully functional, stable home environment. As a result, they grow up socially handicapped.
The government aid programs, in effect, take the place of the father in the home. Many men have come to accept this wholeheartedly and feel little need to live up to their responsibilities toward their children. The government provides, and they expect the government to keep on providing. They have come to see government aid not as a temporary help but as a continuing income, an entitlement, a right!
Men are naturally wired to work, provide for and take care of their family. To strip them of this inborn character trait is to take away something of their dignity and to degrade their sense of responsibility. Many men in this situation actually have children by several different women. Young boys are growing up not learning how to become a strong man, father and husband. Young girls are growing up not learning what to look for in a husband who will love her, take care of her and provide for the family.
As our homes continue to break down, our culture is weakening more and more. Collapse is inevitable if matters are not reversed. We have let things turn upside down…
Gary L. Hutchens